Insomnia :(

It's 04:45 a.m.. Sleep is still not willing to meet my poor tired eyes..!

In fact, I want you to meet my new friend "Insomnia" who's being too close to me these days, yeah so close that I've already got enough of her ! --'

Well, she's not really new to me; I've met her several times since I was a baby.. but this time, I guess she's not willing to leave me. She comes over just with the very first stars appearing in the sky that's still grey I think; yeah not even dark yet ! Obviously, she's so eager to keep me company all night long.

I usually log on to the internet  around 10 or 11 p.m, if I'm not somewhere out of course. I always do have something to check on, a topic to search about, a site to look for on google maps or just some friends to talk to on facebook. Everytime I decide to shut my laptop off and get some rest, "Insomnia" just keeps insisting that I should stay a bit longer and convincing me that it's still too early for bed. I, honestly, don't resist that much. I don't deny I might've got used to my new friend already. And in case I was disobediant and logged out, the T.V is always there to keep me good company. Basically, I hadn't really been into watching T.V all the last year. However, boredome can lead you to do all those stuff you don't even think about !

Just a few minutes ago, for instance, I was watching like 3 or 4 movies on the row, of which the last was intitled "Fix the Fox" and it was the main source of inspiration that pushed me to write at this late hour because the plot deals with the life of a brilliant writer and so.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going out with my Italian friend as usual. An other Italian girl is going out with us this time.. So, naturally I must sleep for a couple of hours in order to be prepared for an Italian-flavored day ! Still, "Insomnia" does not want to leave me alone!
I kept begging her to go away, asking why sleep has given up on me this easily !!
She said, with a sarcastic tone : "he's got other fish to fry, darling.. don't you think you're the only one who needs him."

..But I was actually the one needing him the most after he's left me all this time with that devilish witch "Insomnia".

With great power...

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility !"

That's the best moral anyone can drow from the movie "Spiderman" <3

I've realised my power long time ago.. Actually, I guess I've always know what it is. The day I was born was the day God inspired me to recognise my powers, my gifts and my goals in life. As for my responsibility, I've always felt the must to be the best of all, to do all that I can do perfectly and give my everything to fulfil my responsibility.

Grandpa always used to say literally : "this girl is a miracle !" and I was barely two or three years old when he'd say that. He never took his word back, ever 'cause he was certain of his opinion, and he knew very well that I'd never let him down. Well, that faith he had in me, beside everybody's trust made me determine the huge responsibility I have at an early age, indeed ! My goal was to be always the best, the first mainly, in order not to let anyone down.

This childhood responsibility has grown up year by year, day by day, exam by exam.. then in the 9th grade national exam.. and then L.P.M (Monastir Pioneer School).. but the time I felt more responsible than ever was when I came back to the ordinary school here in town after I had chosen the Arts' section which does not exist in pioneer schools ! At that time, I felt that I represent L.P.M on one side, so, all eyes were on me, waiting eagerly for my results.. and on the other side, I represented the Arts' section itself which had long been underestimated by almost all the society! Thus, my responsibility then was to change the prejudices that people usually have concerning my section, as "the greatest pleasure in life is in doing what people think you cannot do." 

Thank God I could perfectly fulfil my duty.. and now I have realised that my responsibility is still getting bigger and bigger now that I'm in my senior year ! All people trust is in me; my family, teachers, friends... everybody ! and now I have to do my best in order not to let them down

I want, after my graduation, my mother to be so proud of me and say, with tears filling her eyes : "that's my girl" ! I want my teachers to feel so honored to have taught me some day..I want my friends; my real ones, to be so glad that I could break records and finally make it through all this.. I want those who hate me to hate me even more because I take my hators as my motivators..

And I want, above all, to be proud of my self; proud of what I could do and achieve.. I want to walk, my head held high, not caring about anything else out there!

Yeah.. now I could understand what Mark Twain meant by this quote : "The two most important days in your life are the day you're born and the day you find out why."

R.H

Hello World :D

Keep a diary.. and someday, it'll keep you.

So here I am, finally realising the idea that's been haunting my mind lately !

I've always kept a diary.. I've been noting down all that happens through my day since I can remember, actually. But the idea of a blog hasn't crossed my mind till recently. Basically, I don't like having people read my writings, especially this kind of notes. It's not lack of confidence or so, but getting everyone around me into my life gladly was something I don't agree on! Yeah, nosy people are not really welcome to one's secret garden, are they?

Anyway, as you can see, this time it's slightly different.. These pages I'm going to write through the next year (or two) are the replay of almost every freshman in college! All of us are scared of this new world; of taking the next step to maturity and knocking the door of real life. All of us wonder what could be waiting for us, who we could meet and what responsibilities we shall be assuming soon... All of us sometimes even wish they've never left high school, in a mixture of nostalgia on one side and fear on the other !

We..I mean freshmen naturally spend the lion part of their time wondering, fearing, hesitating.. But it's absolutely okay and normal.. That's why I wanted to share my own feelings with every freshman out there, in every corner on earth through my journey in college which I suppose will be awesome :D

Ciao <3

R.H